Why I’ll Never Do a DEI Talk
The further I get into my career, the more I realize that people like me (A Black woman + other marginalizations) are having to do double the work in order to create not only our dream careers but even more in an attempt to create an environment that is safe and tolerable to work in.
I’ve had the pleasure of attending quite a few DEI trainings. One thing I’ve noticed is that typically the most vulnerable are usually giving these talks, presentations, and workshops to those that hold the most if not all of the power. They are also given as if begging those in power to be seen as humans that should be respected without “deserving” it.
As I would sit in these audiences, I would see my predominantly white colleagues reveal what type of coworker they actually were:
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The Bored One
This coworker is usually that one that is just checking a box. They probably “already know what is going to be said” and think they are already doing what is necessary. They possibly don’t see color, nor do they see why this presentation is even happening. After all, “race doesn’t matter.” Better yet, they are angry that the subject of marginalized groups gets brought up at all. They’d much rather do something else.
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The Self-Proclaimed Ally
This is the person that bought all of the books, shared all of the posts, said the pretty words, and did absolutely nothing else. They are quick to talk about what they’ve done as if it helps any cause and think they are one of the good ones because they can quote bell hooks’, “All About Love.”
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The Angry One
This one doesn’t want to be here at all. They may actually be offended at the mere suggestion that they treat those different from them poorly. Worse yet, even if they did, it’s never their fault. It’s always the oppressed person’s fault. After all, “no one made them come here.” OR “If you don’t like it, just leave.”
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The “Scared” One
This person doesn’t want to hear how bad the world is for others. They want to only live in their bubble and pretend all is good while everyone else suffers. They are quick to deflect and change the subject anytime things get a little too heavy. They don’t want to hear about the violence against marginalized groups because it “hurts their heart.” Forget about the hurt bodies. They’d rather talk about something that makes them less sad.
There is one thing these people all have in common. They center themselves. They are completely blinded by their own ideas of how the world is and should be in addition to their own comfort to even consider another perspective. They do this “training” every year and nothing in the work environment ever changes because THEY are not willing to change.
So why would I waste my time helping people like this check a box and go back to the same behavior? I’ve seen Black and other non-white individuals spend countless hours, some unpaid, on this work for it to mostly end up fruitless. Don’t even get me started on other marginalized groups like the disabled community or the LGBTQIA+, not to mention the intersections that are completely missed. To sit in those meetings and watch discussions devolve into something toxic as a coworker makes me not want to work in those environments.
I have seen people in the midst of political uprisings following deaths due to police brutality and other ethnic issues across the world just ignore them at best and defend the oppressive force at worst. All of this happens plus the macro AND microaggressions. I am just not interested in convincing people in power that I deserve to be treated like a human anymore.
DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) initiatives have gone from a way to hold businesses accountable for their discriminating practices to just another certification to obtain. It was meant to get companies to treat their employees better. Instead it is just another way to pacify the public while maintaining the status quo. Nothing is changing. On top of that, people are still rallying against it! Personally, I believe it is a self-fulfilling prophecy to make it feel like a GIGANTIC waste of time in order to get rid of it. Hell, we are already banning the actual educational tools needed to make things better.
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Let’s be clear, I believe these sessions should happen. I just think the labor of hosting and teaching these sessions shouldn’t be on the oppressed. It should be up to those in power to do the research (real research not just relying on their employees to feed them information), make the presentations, and come up with any goals to make their company better for all of their employees. If that is not possible, PAY SOMEONE QUALIFIED to do it. Pay them very handsomely also. If the most oppressed groups feel safer, everyone else will too.
I won’t give one second to these initiatives because I am not the target audience. I also have nothing to contribute that has not already been explained in generations past. Things like fair and equal pay, decent benefits, and good working conditions have already been talked about in grave detail for decades. The plight of the working person has not changed. I don’t have to talk about what discrimination or bias is because there are volumes and volumes of books about that already. In fact, if you check the Self-Proclaimed Ally’s bookcase, you might find them. Even better, have them teach the seminars!
My labor and my time are not for the pleasure of the white gaze. I choose to work to sustain the life I have and want as I pursue my goals and ambitions just like everyone else. I am not here to educate white individuals about the basics of humanity.
#GetSomeoneElseToDoIt
Anyway, Until later, babes…
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