Are Romance Novels Porn?!?!

This is a question that gets tossed around the ether of romance novel writing/reading pretty frequently. I remember the first time I took this question seriously. I was about nineteen years old in the heat of the Purity Movement. I was reading a book called “Every Young Woman’s Battle.” One of the things it discussed was how women were wired to be emotionally/mentally stimulated while men were visually stimulated. Thinking back on that now, I wonder why on earth we as women have eyes. They must be for decoration. Or just something that a man can look into when he is chastised for staring at our breasts. 

“Hey!! My eyes are up here!”

Right. That must be what they are for. Our eyes couldn’t possibly have some other function outside of being able to see to walk even though we are tripping over ourselves as damsels in distress. They couldn’t possibly be looking at beautiful muscles, tight butts, pulsating…”members.” No, women that have eyes for that are abnormal or “queer,” right? <insert eye roll> I can honestly say that people’s theories about women are just ridiculous, but I digress. 

So in this book, romance novels were deemed as pornography for women. Because “we weren’t visually stimulated” and scrolling the likes of P*rnH*b, our pornographic pusher was Harlequin. I wonder if the owners of HarperCollins (including the partial ones in their uber conservative glory) would consider themselves to be in the porn industry. Hmmm…interesting. 

Anyway, because I had been reading romance novels since I was a pre-teen, I felt a little confused as to why they were considered pornographic. After all, I was also watching mainstream porn as well, (I know shocking) and while there may have been the occasional steamy sex scene that could be considered arousing. There were also instances where I would bring my novels to school and my classmates would take them and try to find the sex scenes and read them aloud in their circles. Hmmm…maybe. 

This question came up a lot of times during the writing and self-publishing of my first novel “Take It Off: Fantasies Made Real Vol. 1” (Available now on Amazon Kindle and PaperBack).

-Yes, this is that type of platform, so there will be more of these absolutely shameless plugs.-

Anyway, I remember the soul-searching I went through while writing and preparing to publish my very first book. I remember the overwhelming and agonizing nights where I should have been focused on…I don’t know…editing, cover design, or a myriad of other things. I was worried if I was becoming a female porn producer. Could I be contributing to the addictive nature of pornographic images plaguing the nation…nay THE WORLD. 

I imagine the first romance and erotica writers faced this same question. After all, they were in fact writing novels before visual media outside of in-person shows wasn’t yet possible. I’m sure the books filled with love, sex, lust, and just downright “filth” were collecting dust in the houses of vicars and ministers because no righteous woman would ever read them. Oh wait…why were these books in these homes? Well, because women and men (and other genders; let’s stay inclusive) were inhaling them through those same eyes that are just meant to be window dressing. 

Let’s face it. Romance and erotica are meant to be stimulating in one form or another. It is meant to inspire the rush of feel good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin with just a shot of adrenaline for the more risk-taker of readers, because when on earth will you ever encounter a dragon that transforms into a muscular being that is covered in sweat and smoke dust ready to throw you over his shoulder and bring you back to his lair and do “ungodly” things to you. The rush that comes from that imagination alone has dampened the crotches of many hers, hims, and thems around the world. 

Doesn’t that make it porn?

Maybe…I’ve definitely read books that have inspired some erotic thoughts. I’ve even penned stories like that and sold them. (Stay tuned for more). I can’t say that I haven’t wondered if the first romance novelists were in fact sex workers. Their books had to be hidden for the most part from stoic fathers and husbands that believed consuming these books caused brain sickness. <insert eye roll> You know, the same that were constantly sending their wives and daughters to the doctors to be treated for hysteria, which inspired the first vibrating toys that we know and love. Sure, those writers were not on corners or in brothels. The romance novelists of today aren’t bound to sites like OnlyF*ns. 

While it’s crazy to think about, these thoughts were a big part of my life as a debut author. It probably doesn’t sound as crazy now since we are still having this conversation. What sounds crazy is this: Romance novelists may call what they do porn; however, they would never call themselves sex workers. Why not? Well, because what we do as romance novelists doesn’t have to be decriminalized. Our content is sold in big box stores like Walmart, Target, and Amazon. Hell, you can pick up a romance novel in a grocery store. For porn, you have to create an incognito window and go to your favorite sites (especially if you can/do pay for porn, which is advised). 

“But Terri, what about the lustful thoughts?!?!”

Well, unnamed human that I just made up, what’s wrong with lustful thoughts and fantasies? We fantasize about owning homes that we may never own and driving cars that are waayyy outside of our reach financially, and those fantasies are deemed normal. Some people fantasize about having children, the perfect job, white picket fence, and sunny days in the suburbs, with no critique. Why are those thoughts more tolerable? Is it because sweaty bodies are more tangible and with proper consent and safety attainable? Perhaps…

Again…what’s wrong with that? 

Look, I’m not questioning the morals of those that read or write romance novels. Ignorant people that want to control the innermost thoughts of women so they are fully consumed with perfecting themselves for men that don’t deserve it are. I don’t care if a person was masturbating to my book. To be honest, if I was able to evoke that kind of imagery, I might take that as a compliment. To have penned a character that moved and spoke in a way that a person was fully engrossed into my books that they had to take a break just for a moment of relief. I can’t say that gives me the “ick” that it was supposed to give. <shrugs shoulders>

Photo by Chris on Unsplash

What I can say is that I cannot manage the innermost thoughts of every set of eyes that may come across my writing. I know there have been concerns about children reading romance novels. As I said before, I was an underaged person reading romance novels. For me, those conversations are between the parents and/or guardians of that child. I will never force a child to read my books. I will never force ANYONE to read my books. I will however commit myself to writing the best books I can and that is the best any of us can do. Policing what anyone of any age consumes is not my job nor my desire. 

Are romance novels and erotica porn? The answer is that for some people it is. For me, it is just another book or story told through a medium. Whatever you get out of it, whether it be arousal or disgust is really a private matter. Though I will say, if you aren’t into that type of thing, why are you purchasing it? While hate-reading is just as profitable for writers as actual fans, it would seem to be a very energy-consuming practice that I personally have no time or interest for. However, do you!! I definitely don’t mind collecting those royalties. 

Let this be a definitive statement: I do not consider myself a sex worker, but if it makes you feel better about yourselves to view me in that manner, you are not bringing shame to me. Sex workers are in fact working. While you may not consider it to be an honorable profession, the fact is that sex workers have probably done more for people than you and your repressive thoughts have done for even yourself. That to me makes it a legitimate and honorable profession. I do not consider the books I write to be porn, but if that helps you to sleep better at night with my book next to your bed, go for it. Just make sure when you call my book pornographic smut in my reviews, you continue to give it a 5-star rating. <winks>

Until next time…Later babes!!!

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